Addiction to lunch dates

A few months ago, I made a contract to myself:

I, Cupcake Queen, hereby commit to self- restraint whenever I have this inexplicable urge to call Mr. J out to lunch. I will endeavour to not call Mr. J, no matter what circumstances. I will also terminate all form of contact with Mr. J. Most importantly, I will do my best to live my life fully and focus on with my work, interests and hobbies.

This contract is solely with myself and carries no rewards, punishments or penalties other than those associated with the reflection of the strength of my character.

Signed,
Cupcake Queen, 5 August 2004

This morning, my fingers were itching to dial his number and ask him out for lunch. Who am I kidding, really? I'm supposed to have "lost" his contact no. as I lost my phone during a work trip to Singapore last month. And the contract. The CONTRACT!!! I swear I had temporary amnesia this morning and completely forgotten about the CONTRACT.

Then, I remembered the red flags. And I remembered how addicted I was to lunch dates with Mr. J.

Mr. J is one of the very few men who has this big effect on me. Just seeing him in person gives me a huge emotional rush. I would be high and giddy with happiness for the next few days and then BOOM! I'd come crashing back to reality with the cold, harsh truth - he hasn't called me all this while. He just isn't into me.

While signing the contract above, I realised I have this addiction to meet him and need my fix to get high from occasional lunch dates with him.

Today, I scored another point against this addiction.

*triumphant fist in the air*