Doing the unthinkable
I broke my contract today. However, I believe my irrationality was for a good reason. To see him without rose-tinted glasses and to realise that he's not into me.
So, yes, I did the unthinkable and called Mr. J out for lunch. And this time, I was utterly bored. I was bored to tears- with him, his friends, the whole "what shall we do with ourselves?" lethargic conversation.
His friends obviously know he isn't interested in me. They aren't as friendly as before and I sensed they know something which I'm not supposed to know (which I obviously am aware of, right now). A few months back, one of his friends actually hinted to me that I'd make a good match for Mr. J and he sounded optimistic when he told me that. Now, I guess I shouldn't even be hopeful.
Today, Mr. J spoke of dating this girl last week but she wasn't his type. Instantly, this huge red flag just swooshed down in front of me when he said that. And I saw red everywhere. My chest tightened and I felt this pain inside me. During lunch, I dug my nails into my palm secretly, and bit my bottom lip. On top of that, my inner voice was so loud that I hardly spoke during lunch. It warned me to be careful with whatever I was doing there and then. My instincts told me to stop whatever I was doing with Mr. J and move on quietly.
Hmm, I wonder why I even bother, like LMD. Investing my precious time and energy on him and not getting anything in return. I was farking bored today, for crying out loud!!
Someone, please shake me and yell at me repeatedly that I don't need him.
I DON'T NEED HIM IN MY LIFE!
So, yes, I did the unthinkable and called Mr. J out for lunch. And this time, I was utterly bored. I was bored to tears- with him, his friends, the whole "what shall we do with ourselves?" lethargic conversation.
His friends obviously know he isn't interested in me. They aren't as friendly as before and I sensed they know something which I'm not supposed to know (which I obviously am aware of, right now). A few months back, one of his friends actually hinted to me that I'd make a good match for Mr. J and he sounded optimistic when he told me that. Now, I guess I shouldn't even be hopeful.
Today, Mr. J spoke of dating this girl last week but she wasn't his type. Instantly, this huge red flag just swooshed down in front of me when he said that. And I saw red everywhere. My chest tightened and I felt this pain inside me. During lunch, I dug my nails into my palm secretly, and bit my bottom lip. On top of that, my inner voice was so loud that I hardly spoke during lunch. It warned me to be careful with whatever I was doing there and then. My instincts told me to stop whatever I was doing with Mr. J and move on quietly.
Hmm, I wonder why I even bother, like LMD. Investing my precious time and energy on him and not getting anything in return. I was farking bored today, for crying out loud!!
Someone, please shake me and yell at me repeatedly that I don't need him.
I DON'T NEED HIM IN MY LIFE!
posted by Cupcake Queen at 6:23 PM
3 Comments:
Shake shake shake. My friend Steve says you should get a hold of yourself.
Thanks a lot. I'm now seeing multi-coloured stars. Tell your friend Steve to throw away his phone. I believe it's jinxed by the 'girl'.
I break my contracts all the time.
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