The real deal

My little world of happiness and contentment was turned upside-down after meeting Mr. J. last friday.

Over the weekend, I did much contemplating which includes long hours of journalling, walks and a manic session of spring-cleaning.

Today, I realised the one big reason why I've been so adamant in keeping my chastity "millenium virgin" status. No, it has nothing to do with Mr. J. or Rob.

I'd forgotten that I made a vow to myself, years ago, that the next man whom I give myself physically is the One. The real deal. As simple as that.

A small world, indeed

As I write this entry, my heart is still palpitating over what happened this evening. My hand is trembling a little as I type these words.

This is how it began.

I went out for dinner with Rob who wanted to introduce me to his friends. He figured it was time for me to meet his male buddies. Guess who was there? Of all people?

Yes, Mr. J.

When I saw him sitting among the group of guys, my heart skipped a beat. I think I went pale with shock and immediately, I felt awkward and frantic inside. The best thing I could do was to maintain my composure and remind myself constantly to keep calm.

He was equally surprised to see me. Before Rob could introduce me to him, I quickly announced that we knew each other. I didn't want to add to the awkwardness by shaking his hand. But silly Rob insisted that I sit next to Mr. J because we are 'old friends'. He left me sitting next to Mr. J and sat diagonally across me.

The whole night, Rob was engrossed in catching up with his buddies. I had no other alternative but to carry a conversation with Mr. J. I was acting cool about the whole thing and so was he. As the hour went on, Mr. J and I hit off where we left, months back. I had a good time, chatting and laughing with him.

At one point, I leaned my head back on the sofa and felt his arm, stretched out . Rob looked at us and said, "Hey, both of you looked good together" (?). Stunned, I could only look at him incredulously.

Honestly, it felt so good sitting next to Mr. J. I won't deny this but there's this undeniably real chemistry between me and him. He smelt so good. It felt so good, him next to me. When our shoulders brushed accidentally, I couldn't help but feel sparks.

Now, I wonder if my "millenium virgin" status with Rob was my subconscious trying to tell me this one very important bit of information- I still have the hots for Mr. J.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

CSI babe

On a late Wednesday night, I was working quietly on my laptop, trying to beat a looming deadline, while Rob watched CSI on Astro's channel 17. During commercial break...

You know, you looked like one of those CSI intelligent babes when you work- so quiet, intent and meticulous.

Oh, which CSI babe?

Calleigh... his voice dreamily announced.

But CSI-Miami is not on now !?!

Yeah, but I like Calleigh- nice long blonde hair, beautiful big eyes, such a sweet personality. Her voice is like yours - sweet. Just the way I like it.

My one and only clubbing outing of 2005

Last Friday night, Jane, Paully & I went to Velvet Underground as Paully has free tickets to the Lounge Paris Underground; which was part of the KL French Arts Festival. We would never in entire lives fork out RM50 for a night of clubbing. Three of us figured out that RM50 per person could buy us a decent dinner at a nice restaurant. Cheh, giler betul to waste RM50 on entrance fee - Paully remarked with disgust as we entered Velvet Underground.

So, it was the first time I've been clubbing in yonks. We didn't even know what to do . And we were standing like jakuns at one corner until Lia spotted the bar at the other side of the lounge. There was free flow of cognac until 11pm. And we made sure we planted ourselves in Velvet Underground at the start of the event, that is at 9pm to tank up on the free liquor.

What to do in a nightclub lounge? Drink, have a fag and scan the room for good-looking men. Yep, there were quite a number of Frenchmen but we reckoned they could be gays for all that matter.

At around 10.45pm, the free flow of cognac suddenly dried up as they had finished the supply of cognac.

So, I flashed my megawatt smile to the bartender and got myself a lychee martini, on the house. While waiting for my martini, a French guy came and stood next to me. Suddenly, I felt someone tapped my left shoulder. I turned my head this way and that. And monsieur grinned and mumbled something. And I simply replied, yeah. And another yeah to his next sentence. Then, he looked at me quizzically as he must have said something that didn't require a yes reply. Quickly, I gestured to my ears that I couldn't hear a single thing with the booming music in the background. I simply smiled graciously and said, excusée moi and walked away.

It was still early and the crowd hadn't packed in. So, I trundled over to the wall where a mini art exhibition was held. There was some pretty cool paintings done by a Malaysian artist, Richard Wong who has lived and studied in Paris. I thought his style was noticeably influenced by great artists, such as Picasso and Van Gogh. I was engrossed, admiring his art when a Chinese yuppie fella came over.

Which one do you like?- he beamed at me.

I like the grey sketch of the red woman figure. Reminds me of Picasso's sketches.

Oh, really.

Yes, and it's not too expensive. RM1,800.

.......

Hmm, maybe you could get it for me. - I was getting bored with the lack of response from that fella.

Yeah, yeah.. I could contact Ally Fran and ask them about it.

Oh, Ally Fran?

Yes, the organiser of this event.

Oh, I see. - Me trying hard not to burst out laughing.

***********

A couple of hours later, I was trying to maneuver my way through the crowd when suddenly I felt a strong male hand on my waist and a deep sexy voice telling me that I was looking beautiful. I couldn't see the guy's face but I was left with the lasting impression of his voice.

All in all, I had a good time lastFriday night- drinking lychee martinis & dirty martinis, checking out men, grooving to sexy French lounge music and giggling with Jane & Paully over the 3 men who tried to pick me up.

Seriously, I think every girl should dress up and go clubbing once in a very long while. Clubbing is great fun when done sparingly and with no expectations.

Back from Mainland

Been missing for the past two weeks as I went to the land of my forefathers, i.e. China.

Reluctantly, I joined a tour group as it was my only option. Due to the fact that I barely speak Mandarin and can't read Chinese characters for nuts.

I spent 8 days in Beijing and visited all the touristy spots - Forbidden City, Summer Palace, Mao's Underground City, Mao's mausoleum, Tiannamen Square, Heavenly Temple and The Great Wall of China.

China is truly a land of the masses. People are everywhere, day or night. Every morning, I saw throngs of cyclists, large groups of people congregating in parks- doing taichi, ballroom dancing, getting a hair trim, etc. Beijing is developing fast with massive construction works going on. They are building mega buildings that at times, look intimidatingly monstrous.

In a strange way, I didn't feel any sense of novelty being at a foreign land for the first time. Perhaps, my forefathers had trodden on the same path which I took in Beijing. There was no sense of newness while admiring the ancient oriental architecture, walking down hutongs (narrow alleys of high-walled old residences), being in awe at the masses of Chinese people cycling. During the whole trip, I only felt a huge sense of deja vu, it was as if I had already been there.

However, for the first time, I felt 100% accepted for the way I look. In Beijing, I saw scores of Chinese girls with the same small eyes and high cheekbones like mine.

Also, for the first time, I've never been so illiterate in my entire life. I was surrounded by my own kind of people and yet I couldn't communicate with them. There were times when I regretted skipping mandarin classes during my childhood. I'm pretty sure I could have learnt a little bit more about China historically and socially, just by interacting with the local Chinese.

Note to self- must go check out mandarin classes.