Meeting Mrs. J

All my life, I noticed a definite pattern of boyfriends.

1. They all come from all-boys siblings.
2. They are the eldest son.

For some strange reason, the men in my past and current life are the eldest son in all-boys family. I seriously think my sub-conscious picked them out for reasons unbeknownst to me.

And yes, Mr. J is the eldest son with a younger brother.

In the past, I've never had easy 'relations' with exes' mothers. They have never approved of my being the other female in their eldest sons' lives.

Last month, Mr. J asked me to meet his mother. With unpleasant memories of disapproving looks on my exes' mothers' faces, I was undoubtedly reluctant to meet his mother.

'Could we wait until I'm ready? All my exes' mothers hate me, you know.'

' Why? Glenn's mum loves you. Please, do this for me,' he'd plead quietly.

So after one lenghty discussion, I finally agreed but told him to not expect a smooth sailing event.

Last Sunday afternoon, I had dim-sum with the matriarch Mrs. J.

The night before, I was all nerves. I wrote down all the best diplomatic answers to intruding personal questions like marriage and babies. I had to keep reminding myself that it's not the end of the world if things do not go well. If it turns out badly, I'm off to Thailand for a short island holiday to restore my frazzled self.

After writing down my list of diplomatic answers, I couldn't sleep. I read and it didn't work. Watched some tv and I was still awake. After pottering around my apartment, I decided to paint my nails in the colour that will probably fail me in Mrs. J's eyes the following day. But I was strangely relaxed after transforming my nails into this deep shade of ruby red.

The next morning, I woke up, slightly impatient to get to the restaurant. I wanted the whole lunch affair to be over quickly. Just deal with it and be done with it.

At around noon, I was a little nervous as I stepped into the chinese restaurant. I scanned the floor, searching for a 50-something woman with a lilac top. However, she spotted me and waved. When I saw her, I heaved an inner sigh of relief because she looked like someone my own mother would befriend.

Mrs. J has an easy demeanour and a classic sense of dressing - very simple and elegant. She was very pleasant, had a warm smile and spoke well.

During lunch, she told me she had wanted to meet me because she was curious about her son's girlfriend. And she also mentioned that she completely understood why I was reluctant to meet her. (Earlier, I had told Mr. J of my rule of not meeting the parents until I'm ready)

Not once did she interrogated me on my relationship with Mr. J. Instead, we chatted of my trip to France and nyonya cuisine. Later we discovered we had something in common- Mrs. J schooled at my alma mater in KL.

Some interesting facts I learnt from Mrs. J :

1. Women who can cook are greatly revered in the clan.

2. Mr. J's family are deeply traditional with great ties to their Peranakan cultural values.

3. Unconditional love and acceptance are two things that I can use to make my relationship work.

And she liked my ruby red nails.