It ain't easy being single
Once again, I had to defend my single and boyfriendless status.
This time, I'm reminded that 'age is catching up' and that 'I'm happier being with a man and even better if I'm married to him.'
WHAT THE FARK?
Yesterday, I met up with an old galpal, Lin who's a stay-at-home with 2 kids. We've been friends since college days and once in a while, I buzz her to meet up. And meeting up means taking a 20-min drive to her place. Because she has 2 young children, we have tea at her place.
Over the years, I find myself drifting further and further from married friends, especially those with kids. I realised that they don't share my enthusiasm with happenings in my single life, especially holiday plans.
I love my holidays. I need them. Life is so much interesting when I travel. I come back with stories, images and memories.
However, yesterday was a strange epiphany. I suspect that Lin secretly resents me for living the freely single life while she stays at home taking care of her kids. Or that it's her passive-aggresive reaction to my wonderfully single life. Still, I don't want to make assumptions.
Next, she lamented on how I'll never be happy and stay stagnant if I don't let go of Mr. J. Yeah, I can't let go of him, because I'm dealing with a personal issue. And because of my unwillingness to let go of Mr. J, I'll never have another man in my life and that was when the whole 'age is catching up' and 'I'll be happier married' came in. All her unsolicited advice was psychologically eroding. I left her place, feeling utterly vacuous with a vague sense of sadness. No wonder my instincts kicked yesterday. I heard a little voice urging me to not meet up with her, but I chose to overlook it.
I always believe when something good happens; it's a blessing. When it's bad; it's experience. There's a good reason for things to happen and if you look hard enough, there's a valid life lesson.
For years, I've kept a Happiness card by my workdesk which I, incidentally, bought during a low peak in my life. This morning, I looked at it and realised that what Lin said yesterday 'was a reflection of herself and not me.'
No one can decide what's good for me and what truly makes me happy. Only I can decide what's good for me.
This time, I'm reminded that 'age is catching up' and that 'I'm happier being with a man and even better if I'm married to him.'
WHAT THE FARK?
Yesterday, I met up with an old galpal, Lin who's a stay-at-home with 2 kids. We've been friends since college days and once in a while, I buzz her to meet up. And meeting up means taking a 20-min drive to her place. Because she has 2 young children, we have tea at her place.
Over the years, I find myself drifting further and further from married friends, especially those with kids. I realised that they don't share my enthusiasm with happenings in my single life, especially holiday plans.
I love my holidays. I need them. Life is so much interesting when I travel. I come back with stories, images and memories.
However, yesterday was a strange epiphany. I suspect that Lin secretly resents me for living the freely single life while she stays at home taking care of her kids. Or that it's her passive-aggresive reaction to my wonderfully single life. Still, I don't want to make assumptions.
Next, she lamented on how I'll never be happy and stay stagnant if I don't let go of Mr. J. Yeah, I can't let go of him, because I'm dealing with a personal issue. And because of my unwillingness to let go of Mr. J, I'll never have another man in my life and that was when the whole 'age is catching up' and 'I'll be happier married' came in. All her unsolicited advice was psychologically eroding. I left her place, feeling utterly vacuous with a vague sense of sadness. No wonder my instincts kicked yesterday. I heard a little voice urging me to not meet up with her, but I chose to overlook it. I always believe when something good happens; it's a blessing. When it's bad; it's experience. There's a good reason for things to happen and if you look hard enough, there's a valid life lesson.
For years, I've kept a Happiness card by my workdesk which I, incidentally, bought during a low peak in my life. This morning, I looked at it and realised that what Lin said yesterday 'was a reflection of herself and not me.'
No one can decide what's good for me and what truly makes me happy. Only I can decide what's good for me.
posted by Cupcake Queen at 12:19 PM
5 Comments:
Well said. It's YOUR life, not hers. I have since learnt that some friends - however long your friendship dates back to - is toxic in your life and that's when you have to decide if the friendship has ended its course.
Btw, I stumbled onto your blog via LMD's :)
Couldn't agree more.
that sucks ... why do friends turn into nagging aunties after they get married?
ene & LMD - Yep, it's my life. And I'm loving it!
tiff - Spot on! She not only speak like one but begin to look one. *shudder*
well, only ourselves can decide what we want to do with our life. but not neccessary what is good for us.
just hope we can all make the right choices.
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