Bitch gratitude
Thank you for announcing to me (in a curt tone) this year, on the first day of the Chinese New Year that you have been begrudgingly giving me angpows for the past two years. Guess what? Starting next year, you can save RM10. Also, I save you the trouble of being a hypocrite every CNY. It's a tiring job being a hypocrite, you know. Have to put on a fake smile and must pretend to like giving angpow to me, Cupcake Queen of all people. Aiyah, so sianlah...
Thank you for telling my dad off for forgetting to give angpow to your then-boyfriend husband, in2001. My dad thinks I'm the world's greatest daughter, after that wonderful incident.
Thank you for bossing and ordering my younger cousins around. They, now, love me more for that.
Thank you for asserting your "moneyed" self by thinking that you and your CEO husband have the privilege to sit at the dining table and start eating dinner before everyone, in my house this CNY. Your very own brother-in-law was appalled and brought two luscious chocolate cakes to my house the next day, to make up for your royalty ways. Tell your brother-in-law that the cakes were heavenly and yummy. We could do with another cake next CNY.
Thank you for reminding everyone in the clan, again and again, that your hubby is one bigshot CEO with a subsidiary in a public-listed company; which is currently in a multitude of lawsuit cases. Hmm, I wonder why you and your CEO hubby join my dad's annual CNY reunion dinner at the swanky hotel in the past three years.
Thank you for insisting that everyone wash their hands before touching your 2 year old daughter. We don't want to spread germs to your precious little girl. So, we don't even dare touch or play with your little diamond.
Thank you for being a bitch to me and everyone in the clan. It makes our lives more interesting. Life becomes a free soap opera viewing when you're around. We don't even have to switch on the tv for entertainment. There's enough drama going on with you proudly acting out your self-centered and unreasonable self.
Thank you for your scathing words and offensive remarks. I really need them to check my conscience and individuality, once a year.
Thank you for telling my dad off for forgetting to give angpow to your then-boyfriend husband, in2001. My dad thinks I'm the world's greatest daughter, after that wonderful incident.
Thank you for bossing and ordering my younger cousins around. They, now, love me more for that.
Thank you for asserting your "moneyed" self by thinking that you and your CEO husband have the privilege to sit at the dining table and start eating dinner before everyone, in my house this CNY. Your very own brother-in-law was appalled and brought two luscious chocolate cakes to my house the next day, to make up for your royalty ways. Tell your brother-in-law that the cakes were heavenly and yummy. We could do with another cake next CNY.
Thank you for reminding everyone in the clan, again and again, that your hubby is one bigshot CEO with a subsidiary in a public-listed company; which is currently in a multitude of lawsuit cases. Hmm, I wonder why you and your CEO hubby join my dad's annual CNY reunion dinner at the swanky hotel in the past three years.
Thank you for insisting that everyone wash their hands before touching your 2 year old daughter. We don't want to spread germs to your precious little girl. So, we don't even dare touch or play with your little diamond.
Thank you for being a bitch to me and everyone in the clan. It makes our lives more interesting. Life becomes a free soap opera viewing when you're around. We don't even have to switch on the tv for entertainment. There's enough drama going on with you proudly acting out your self-centered and unreasonable self.
Thank you for your scathing words and offensive remarks. I really need them to check my conscience and individuality, once a year.
posted by Cupcake Queen at 2:20 PM
3 Comments:
I love having people like that in my family so the rest of us can bitch about them. Mine is my cheapskate filthy rich uncle.
Hmm yeah.. I believe, in every family, there has to be one annoying relative who gets under your skin and whose main intention is to annoy the hell of out everyone. It's a huge paradox- the annoying relative is the bane of our existence and yet, they make our lives interesting.
Mine is my mother. She loves to brag about her Oxford son earning big bucks. She bragged about him to a whole dinner tableful of people and the only thing she told them about me was that I love to eat. She scolds the maids obscenities everyday. She blames everybody else for her "headaches". She brags about herself. She is actually really dumb, yet she thinks she's so bright.
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