Post-breakup lunch

I had lunch with my ex-boyfriend, Mr. J yesterday.

It's strange how comfortable we're with each other, now that we're not seeing each other. We're back to talking, laughing and sharing stories. He still makes me laugh. It's been yonks since I saw his eyes crinkle when he laughs. It's been months since I've seen him looking well-rested, calm and happy. I won't deny that my heart skipped a beat when I saw him at his best, relaxed self. That's the real him whom I like very much and respect.

He's making a huge effort to slowly diminish clubbing out of his life. And even cutting down on cigarettes. Simply because in the past, I had refused to kiss his foul-tasting mouth, after his puffing those nasty cigarettes.

I know you're all dying to know- "Are you guys getting back together?"

Nope. We're not getting back together although we still like each other. Yesterday, he held my hand and wouldn't let go while chatting and lunching. And I couldn't take my hand out of his.

When he said goodbye to me, his face fell and his eyes were filled with sadness. But quickly, he pulled himself together and grinned at me and tapped my nose lightly. I smiled back and said goodbye.

For once, I didn't walk away with any lingering hope or heavy regret. One thing I know for sure. I'm moving on to the unknown.